


You Heard What?

by DoomNightAt12



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Excessive use of the F word, Gen, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Sneaks in Ace!Kid too because I say so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26708515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoomNightAt12/pseuds/DoomNightAt12
Summary: Kid hears something scandalous through the mirror, and confronts his Father about his relation with Spirit.
Relationships: Spirit Albarn | Death Scythe/Shinigami-sama | Lord Death
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	You Heard What?

“We’re almost done clearing up here.”

“Thanks Maka, I’ll call Death to let him know.”

Maka gave a short nod to Kid, before walking off to make sure BlackStar wasn’t goofing off. Kid stood to attention and held out his arms, summoning his own special link to his Fathers mirror. He waited a few moments as the call rang through, and when the dial tone stopped, he gave it a few more moments for the usual jovial greeting.

But he doesn’t hear it.

It seems awfully quiet, and looking down he finds the reflection is empty. Kid wonders if something was distracting Death, and considers calling out to him, until he finally hears something. A small, unclear voice. Kid leans in closer, trying to make out what he hears. Closer. Closer…

_“Oh, Death~!”_

Kid stands up straight and cuts the call in an instant. He knew that voice. He knew what that tone of voice _meant_. That was… and he… they… _’Oh Death’_ indeed.

“Finished the call?”

Maka walked up beside him, looking curiously at his pale face.

“Hm? Something wrong?”

“I’m not… to sure...”

* * *

Kid and the sisters walked out to the platform in the Death room, eyes falling on the little wooden table and tea set, and the two men already seated.

“Hey! Howdy! How’s it going Kiddo?”

The young reaper did his best to hide to twitch on his face, nodding to both Death and Death scythe before seating himself, Liz and Patty sitting either side of him.

“Here, help yourself.”

Death poured another cup of tea, which Kid sipped at. Spirit seemed content just lounging with his own drink, but Kid could only stare at the red head.

“Psst, Kid. Your tea.”

Liz nudged him, being the only one to notice that the tea was simply flowing down his chin rather than his mouth. He sat the cup down, wiping his mouth, but still staring. He had to say something. He had too.

He stood up, pointing at Spirit.

“All right! How long have you been fucking my Father?”

Drinks are spat from both directions, Spirit going pale and Patty bursting into giggles. The Death Scythe made a strangled noise as he stumbled up, quickly grabbing and dragging Kid behind the mirror.

“What?! When?! How did you find out?!”

“My calls go directly through, and someone didn’t mute their mirror.”

Spirit squinted around the side of the mirror, making a ‘what the hell’ gesture, to which Death shrugged.

“I worry he might have something important to ring about, though I guess I forgot to set it to do not disturb.”

Spirit grabbed at his hair in panic, wondering how his lovely afternoon had taken a turn.

“How long have you been fuck buddies?”

Death called out, “Now, now, language Kid. Let’s talk about this like reasonable adults.”

“Could we at least do it in more privacy?” Spirit begged.

Liz and Patty looked content, having returned to their drinks. “Don’t mind us.”

They all sit back at the table. “Now Kid, tell me what’s so wrong with your father having a sex life at his age?”

“Not every father fucks his death scythe”

“We do not have rules against meister/weapon relations.”

“I’m starting to feel we should.”

Spirit shakily raised his hand, “Do I get a say in this?”

“Not with your promiscuous history. Maka almost heard you as well, and we all know how she’d react.”

“That-! I don’t-! She-”

Death rubbed Spirit’s back as the man contemplated his life. Liz and Patty could barely contain their laughter.

“Now Kid, once shouldn’t judge another life-style, and Spirit here has been trying to make a change.”

“Y-yeah, I haven’t been to a club in weeks! Death has been the only one I’ve fucked recently.”

“ _That’s still fucking my Father!”_

The Thompson sisters collapsed to the floor in fits of laughter. It was rare their miester got worked up over something other than symmetry.

Death slightly deflated at his son’s outburst, “There’ll come a day when you understand Kid~ When you’re older~”

“No, there won’t be. I already know that adults have this thing around sex, and how it’s _so_ important. I can say for certain it’s something I have zero interest in. I _also_ have little interest in Maka becoming my _sister_.”

Kid stood, looking down his nose at the still distraught Death Scythe, before gesturing for Liz and Patty to leave with him. Once they were out of the room, Death leaned against his weapon.

“Well~ That went better than expected~!”

“ _Better?!_ ”

“He could have shot you~”

“True…”

“…So, ready for round 2~?”

Sprit choked once more as his face went as red as his hair.

“… Let’s… mute the mirror this time.”


End file.
